Its driving me.

I don't think I deserve to feel this way again, although I know I brought it upon myself. I searched for it and I'm not quite sure why I would do that. My explanation is that I was looking for something good to remember. Pictures are one thing, but words... words are honest. A smile can lie. A picture can be interpreted. Words can be interpreted too, but words expressing love or happiness is more telling than a picture of his mouth to my head. And when the words I read say that the pictures weren't sincere, then all the truths that I find in the pictures are false.
It's been years.


I'm losing my mind tonight, and this time there is no way to blame it on a lack of sleep, or food. No. There is just too much circling my brain.


Dream:
You visited me even before you went back to the valley. You came just to see me. And...it was more than just that. It was...
Nevermind.
I will see you this weekend. Finally. It has been months. Months too long.


fuggggg.
I'm done for now.

(PS. Why do you never call me?)