it was unexpected.
and it hurt.
and the future might hurt.
and the hole inside me might hurt.


"[...] and yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain --aching loss that radiated from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and my head-- but it was manageable. I could live through it. I didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it."