There are so many things going on. No wonder I am so stressed out. Not school things. Personal things. People things.

I want to go on a run, alone, and just fucking push myself until I fall over and can't get up. And just lay there and writhe in pain. No one will find me.


I can't begin to explain some of the things in my head. I wish I could convey what I mean... Why I feel so desperate for air, drowning...
and I almost want to let myself.

And the absurdity that surrounds... I never want to stop moving with it. But something must be stable. Must? No.

Maybe I can live completely up in the air. I just must be stronger.