I can't scream.
Someone will call the cops.




I can hardly breathe.
I can't cry.
I can't write
not the words I need to.
It doesn't exist in words.

What is this world that I live in?
How is this possible?



I am in despair.
I am in rage.
I am enraged.




I am angry.
My heart is broken.

Broken.
Broken.

Bewildered
by the selfishness
cruelty
injustice.


Today,
I have been pouring out words like the river pours
ceaselessly.
So
Why was I silent when I needed to speak?
Was that my promise
broken?

COME ON, ALEX.
Speak from your heart. Don't listen to them.
How long will it take you to learn that lesson?

How do I maintain the respect to have my voice be heard
and the integrity to speak my truth
when my truth is generally contrary to what is accepted and respected?

[is that true? it feels true]



The most frustrating part is the cowardice and submission
which I am guilty of.

What can I say? What can I do?

I can feel my power
I can feel strength inside me.
I know there is something.
My promise isn't broken,
and if it is
I will piece it back together.
I will try.

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 "What is happening to us?

There are long skeins of time when I feel so confused and lost in this broken world of our own making. I don't know who we have become or what to believe or who to trust."

 -TTW, Finding Beauty in a Broken World

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"We have to keep loving with an open heart, even though it hurts."
Even though we don't know what will happen.

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"'Bewilderness'--the place where the mind wanders
without certainties."

TTW, Finding Beauty...