My Calender

August 17th: Adult Wilderness Quest Potluck (Bothell, Washington) bring food

August 21st-26th: Olympia Village Building Convergence (Oly, WA)

September 8th-16th: Adult Wilderness Quest (Surprise, Washington) need gear

September 26th-30: Women's Congress for Future Generations (Moab, Utah)

October 5th-7th: NW Permaculture Convergence (Olympic Peninsula) need camping arrangements



October 17th: Inkwell Article Reading (Evergreen!)

October 18th-22nd: Radical Mycology Convergence (Olympic Peninsula) need camping arrangements

*October 19th-20th: Inkfest (Evergreen)

October 20th: Harvest Fest (Evergreen)

November 6th: Election Day (0_0)

January 9th: Jury Duty 

January 12th: Adult Wilderness Quest Reunion!! (Randy's, Seattle)

*tentative

Weird timing

"The baby beluga who inspired ‘Baby Beluga’ has died at the age of 46" 8/15/12



http://grist.org/list/the-baby-beluga-of-baby-beluga-has-died-at-the-age-of-46/

284 & questions

Every day
more species die.

284 Beluga Whales left
I know I
know
its always the charismatic
mega fauna
that capture our attention.
Whales, tigers, wolves, bears, elephants, monkeys and
humans.

But this time its a song and a memory. 
Sitting on the floor of my 3rd grade classroom
singing a song about the light blue
beluga babies.

Sitting on my bunk bed in my comfortable
yellow-lit room
with dark blue carpets
dreaming of the ocean.

If they are all dead in my lifetime
what will it all mean to me?

It will mean that I didn't do enough.

284
is less days
than have passed this year,
and more than enough time for
every
last
one
to disappear,
dissolve under our will
or lack thereof.

---

What world do I live in?
I despair
every day
I praise
the sky and the breeze that brings me
life and breath and
radiation
from across the sea.

I pick up discarded fast
food wrappers on the road on my way downtown
every day
and sit in a cafe
and create more waste.

What person am I?
What world is this?

It seems certain
I am no ring-bearer on a great quest across Middle Earth
for then I would have more direction
as to where to go,
and what to do
and have
a known task to undertake
to end the dark forces and
save the world.

Or maybe not.

How can I be?
How can I be pushing on the world
with the greatest leverage
if I don't know where that is?

How can I be holding so many conflicting
repelling things
together
in common
at once?

I need to be both strong and surrendering
solid and yeilding
understanding and challenging
rooted and pervasive
here and there
optimistic and realistic.
all-encompassing and focused
directed and open
forgiving and un-excusing.

I must hold it all
and not be weighed down.

and its so difficult.

---

some days
I wish I could live to be
284
or more.

"and it moves us all..."

I walked down to dance co-op today with menstrual cramps and a bad mood, (though, on a side note, I have been quite pleased with the alignment of my cycle with that of the moon's, so being on my period has felt a lot more special than it normally does).

Anyway, I wasn't feeling inspired to dance tonight--all day I was thinking I wouldn't want to go--but as usually I felt called to give it a shot anyway. After waiting outside writing for a bit, I went into the ballroom and sat for a while stretching at the back til a song pulled me into movement. But I was still having to force it for sure. Finally, the music got a little darker, matching my personal tone for the evening, and on one crazy sound, like a helicopter, I turned my anger into violently spinning arms and head and hips increasing in intensity until it stopped suddenly.

Then the most unexpected song was played: The Circle of Life (The Lion King version). Everyone in the room smiled wide, including me. It was magic how quickly that shifted my mood, and how immediately I felt open to dance in a way that I never had. Open and free. I couldn't stop smiling and just bursting with life and gratitude for life. The song changed the whole landscape of the wave for me and I explored the sounds through my body in new ways for a good time even after it ended. I still got really dark (and violent?) much later during the heavy middle--I head-banged next to a screaming Theodore for about 15 minutes. But my attitude had totally shifted to openness in the dance, and just letting myself go because of The Circle of Life. It was so easy to let go after that. I hardly had any thoughts (except "ow, my ovaries hurt").

Yea, I had cramps the whole time until stillness at the end, when they totally released for a couple moments while I did some stretches lying on the floor. It was an incredible temporary relief, but I still was hurting on my way home. Now I feel fine though. This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I passed cramps without taking advil or something, which is great. :)

Besides dancing, I enjoyed the sun and the moon today.
And Michelle's surgery went fine, and hopefully the lab results will yield good news.

There is sooooo much more to write about but I am exhausted. And feeling good.