i writed something good!
and i wanna show someone
but it's 3 am.
GO TO
SLEEP
bah! ideas today...
I'm bursting. its great, but crippling until i buckle down, which doesn't happen until everyone else is asleep.
maybe i should just re-accept that i work best (write best) in the middle of the night.
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Been reading and writing like crazy these past couple days. Berry, Circumference, On the Plaza, articles about the occupy movement (and there are about 30 on RS that I want to read). But I am overloading myself with ideas and have realized that my ability to frame ideas cohesively has been crippled somehow, probably by being inundated with an unmanageable amount of complex ideas. Or maybe I am just ignoring the process, unwilling to submit to the necessity of limiting my scope of exploration. What's that quote? "Tug on one thing and you will find it connected to everything else in the universe." something like that, and it has been my experience lately. But I don't know where to make the cut...
Part of the "problem" is that I have so many projects going on right now, I don't even know what to do, where to start, how much to focus/spread my energy. I've spent the majority of the past few days trying to explore ideas for my contract next quarter, meaning I have been disregarding the work I need to do for my contract this quarter (except that I found out that I get to go to a weekend workshop with my Uncle in a couple weeks on Bainbridge if I want).
Also, I taught myself a couple new things yesterday which I want to keep practicing. And I should be doing some Spanish every day, but I'm not. That should be one of my goals... starting now?
Mom found a perfect location for a Co-op in North Bend. When I saw it I was about ready to buy it right then and there. Oh, vision. It could be great. So now I've gotten a little crazy thinking I could write a contract where I do a feasibility study for a Co-op in North Bend, based on a model similar to the one in Oly.
But I really wanna keep doing urban studies (its sooo related though, Alex)
and I don't wanna be commuting between here and there...
but I do want to start that project. Especially now that I know there is so much internal interest in the community. Side project on top of school? (You're insane).
To do:
-practice Spanish daily
-email people interested in starting a co-op, set up interest meeting to be held during x-mas break, start FB group/page/whoa!
-write up for Circumference project, send to group, finish reading Circumference
-keep compiling resources/brainstorming for potential urban space/play contract, find sponsor
-figure out what class(es) to register for --go to Academic Fair, Wednesday
-email evergreen peeps back about summative eval panel (after meeting with reena, monday)
-put together presentation AND paper for current contract, make it exciting!
-finish other work for current contract
-"NaNoWriMo"
-finish making the things
-email people about the other things (carolyn i am starting to sound like you)
-watch movie in spanish, write review/response in spanish
ok. just one question: WHEN?
I swear.. I have been working on one of these things or another pretty much straight for the past two days besides sleeping.
oh, don't forget:
-Veg food for thanksgiving
-soccer party friday!
-photo-shoot/baby shower saturday
enough spewing. back to it.
i am enjoying myself, btw. just somewhat overwhelmed. whelmed? dunno
AHHH
Part of the "problem" is that I have so many projects going on right now, I don't even know what to do, where to start, how much to focus/spread my energy. I've spent the majority of the past few days trying to explore ideas for my contract next quarter, meaning I have been disregarding the work I need to do for my contract this quarter (except that I found out that I get to go to a weekend workshop with my Uncle in a couple weeks on Bainbridge if I want).
Also, I taught myself a couple new things yesterday which I want to keep practicing. And I should be doing some Spanish every day, but I'm not. That should be one of my goals... starting now?
Mom found a perfect location for a Co-op in North Bend. When I saw it I was about ready to buy it right then and there. Oh, vision. It could be great. So now I've gotten a little crazy thinking I could write a contract where I do a feasibility study for a Co-op in North Bend, based on a model similar to the one in Oly.
But I really wanna keep doing urban studies (its sooo related though, Alex)
and I don't wanna be commuting between here and there...
but I do want to start that project. Especially now that I know there is so much internal interest in the community. Side project on top of school? (You're insane).
To do:
-practice Spanish daily
-email people interested in starting a co-op, set up interest meeting to be held during x-mas break, start FB group/page/whoa!
-write up for Circumference project, send to group, finish reading Circumference
-keep compiling resources/brainstorming for potential urban space/play contract, find sponsor
-figure out what class(es) to register for --go to Academic Fair, Wednesday
-email evergreen peeps back about summative eval panel (after meeting with reena, monday)
-put together presentation AND paper for current contract, make it exciting!
-finish other work for current contract
-"NaNoWriMo"
-finish making the things
-email people about the other things (carolyn i am starting to sound like you)
-watch movie in spanish, write review/response in spanish
ok. just one question: WHEN?
I swear.. I have been working on one of these things or another pretty much straight for the past two days besides sleeping.
oh, don't forget:
-Veg food for thanksgiving
-soccer party friday!
-photo-shoot/baby shower saturday
enough spewing. back to it.
i am enjoying myself, btw. just somewhat overwhelmed. whelmed? dunno
AHHH
-Ian MacKenzie, Charles Eisenstein, November 11, 2011
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ours To Love.
Maybe you will listen now.
These people are,
and this world is
ours to love.
As humans we are young, we are naive,
and we do not collectively have something to look to for guidance.
many of us are lost. we all have our own ways.:
some of us find comfort in religion.
some of us find satisfaction helping other people.
some of us are content to stray without direction.
We are all different.
But we are all together, and that is the important part.
We are all together as a community in this loss,
We are all together as a race in this world,
and we are all together as living creatures in this universe,
and we need to realize that together we can make and break lives.
because we have a power. It is a power that we all utilize in different ways.
Humans, through all their flaws, have the capacity for love,
and if we open our hearts that capacity will fill to its infinite brim.
However, if you think about it, love is also responsible for hate.
Hate is driven by love. It is for the love of something that we employ hate to protect that which we love - an idea, a religion, a person, a way of life...
but rather than closing the doors on "conflicting" ideas ect, why do we not remember the age old adage "live and let live"?
The reasoning behind this cliché is that no one person is the same - as you can see by looking around you right now - but that our differences are a gift which present us with the chance and the choice to love.
Sadly do not always take it that chance. In fact, I would say it is rare for any one person to show love to every other person that they meet.
Why? Because that calls for complete acceptance,
and acceptance requires strength, and we are weak.
But we are weak only as long as we allow ourselves to be.
I say NO MORE. I choose strength. I choose acceptance.
I choose to open my life up to the possibility of love without force.
It is time to be strong, for ourselves and for everyone else.
It is time to cast aside ignorance and fear of the unknown
and embrace the truth that we are all here together and we need each other.
It is time for a revolution in the name of love.
Love and life go hand in hand:
Without life there is no one to love.
Without love there is no reason for life.
-Me, January 2, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Revolution.
"DROP EVERYTHING GET UP AND RUN
RUN to the side of your brothers and sisters who fight on your behalf
RUN to the footsteps and doors of office buildings full of those still sleeping
STOP what you are doing whatever it may be and RUN
STOP watching the news
STOP checking for status updates
STOP driving your car, literally pull over get out and RUN
PUT DOWN your cell phone and coffee, ok maybe not the coffee
LEAVE BEHIND the comfort of your warm home
LEAVE BEHIND outdated modes of thought
LEAVE BEHIND anything and everything that is holding you back and RUN
WHAT IF you could be the straw that breaks the camals back
WHAT IF your presence would help make those around you stronger
WHAT IF you could actually change the world
WHAT IF you could inspire people to want to at least try
IMAGINE IF it worked
IMAGINE IF every single person you know started running right now
running to the side of our brothers and sisters standing in the cold
holding onto every hope they've ever had of making things better
COULD YOU decide that everything you left behind was not as important as our future?
COULD YOU ignite the fire in your heart that's been slowling burning out
the fire that used to guide your way, telling you that all things are possible
TELLING YOU that you have the right and the responsibility to no longer be silent
TELLING YOU to use your voice to defend those who cannot speak and who cannot run
WOULD YOU use that fire to set the world ablaze and watch it burn? or
WOULD YOU use a spark to ignite the hearts of everyone around you
WOULD YOU feed that fire until it burned so hot that they couldnt stop themselves from running?
running to the sides of our brothers and sisters keeping themselves warm only
by the embers in their hearts.
DO YOU BELIEVE that the there is something worth saving
DO YOU BELIEVE that you are strong and powerful, if not by yourself than together with others
DO YOU BELIEVE you could make sacrifices to be a part of something bigger than yourself?
then let any reason you have, any little spark of life you find worth defending, ignite your heart
and RUN"
-Jessica Armstrong
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself. I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
"the ability to respond to the need of the moment."
