you treat me like the most beautiful, most special thing in the whole world.
why is that not enough for me?



this is sad.
i feel sad,
because...

...it takes running naked across the Safeway strip mall to make me feel alive.
...i'm gonna be so lonely this summer.
...i'm gonna be so lonely at school next year.
...you feel you have to lie to me about these things.
...i feel everything, and it always leaves me feeling numb.
...i loved you so much, and i didn't help anything, i only made it worse.
...life is so boring compared to fiction.
...i hate this meaninglessness, and yet I seem to be looking for more of it.
...i really don't want you to die like this, i'm gonna miss you so much.
...i don't ever want to be away from you, but whenever i'm with you, i push you away.
...i can't escape this place, or these people, especially him.
...people like that exist.
...i wonder if i have gotten anywhere, and where exactly i am trying to get to anyway.