my hand is so tired I can hardly type. I just wrote a couple reflections on Writing Sessions. I'm not hungry (I haven't run for 2 days...and I ate a big lunch). I think I'm just exhausted. But I got... a pretty good amount of sleep last night.

Well... after I cried hysterically for about 2 hours. What is wrong with me?
I think I would have cried less but my mom called me right in the middle of my breakdown, and so I explained everything to her. And it helped to talk to someone who understood exactly why I am so broken right now. She gets me, and how I react to things. And she gets that the combination of everything that has happened in these past few weeks justifiably amounts to a bit of insanity.
After the talk, I crawled into my bed, with my electric blanket on high, and cuddled up with timber, the shirt that's still on my bed, and my pillow and just tried to feel like I wasn't as alone as I felt.
I felt so alone last night. Em didn't get back until after I stopped crying... and no one else has been in the apartment all weekend, except Tyler briefly, and Em's friends.

Class was great today though. Seminar was good and peer review was awesome. Everyone in my group loved my paper, and I was pretty impressed myself, considering the conditions under which I was trying to function this weekend. Anyway, the fact that the paper I wrote was so solid, means I have much less work to do this week, revision-wise. I got a jump-start on my Spanish when I was distracting myself yesterday, and so I just need to do some research for a presentation tomorrow night, and start delving into reading Hungry Planet.

I feel like passing out. 4 intense tutoring sessions in a row tonight. One was an English Language Learner. Then next was working on his first evaluation. The third was working with content that was way over either of our heads and had to write a 10 page paper on it by Friday. And the last one was a kid who didn't seem to care at all about anything I said. It was an emotionally, intellectually packed 2 and 1/2 hours.

Em is making quesadillas tonight, so I don't have to worry about dinner.
Oh... ok, my stomach does really want food right now. hah.

As far as emotionally, I did better for the majority of the day. But after a long day, good or bad, I don't want to go back to the other realities I have to face. Last Monday, even though my school day was horrible, I had something to look forward to. Simple as it was, it made me happy, and made all the shit worth going through.

Im off.
Im out.