i brush it off and try
to stand up.
tonight won't hurt
so much.

but then
i hear her come in
walk, cry.
she hears me call
to her.
i go to her.
we stand facing ourselves,
nemesis' selves in the mirror.
heads bowed down.
shamed
at what
we see.
we don't want
what
we see.
because
we don't fit
anywhere
unless we deny
everything we are, believe, feel.

we choke back tears.
the combined noise would shatter
their world.
our world cast in shadows.
we find light
in brief moments with those who share
in the emptiness.
we find
false comfort
--like the warm shower water,
the heated bed sheets,
which hold us.
as it washes over
as it falls from our shoulders.

smells in clothes you left
fade
and that glass in the place you left it
will be knocked over
in time.

and maybe I
will be left behind.