When I began this blog site, under the title Each Day, it was with the idea that each day that I am alive is a blessing. It began when I found out that a girl Morgan, from my high school, had died of cancer. I felt that I was not appreciating my life, my health, or the opportunities I have each day. The goal was to remind myself daily that there is potential for something new, something wonderful, or even something terrible, and that I should cherish what I have while I have it.

Recently, I have asked why I was not one to die so young when I often don't even have much will to live. Why was her life taken from her without a choice when I often feel as though I would happily take her place, and allow her to live the beautiful life she dreamed? I have asked this, as I am sure others have asked before. I question it more in greater depth on the last post of my previous site, so I won't go through it again.

It doesn't really matter to me right now anyway. I am alive. I am healthy. I have opportunity. My world, each day, is flooded with potential. I knew that, but perhaps now I know it better.

I may be stumbling in the dark trying to find truth, and I could instead stumble upon lies... but maybe through those lies, I do find truth. Or maybe I just find a few moments of joy that energize and help carry me to the next thing I stumble across. Or maybe what I find is dangerous, and it hurts me, leaves me stranded for a while. I could be indefinitely paralyzed. But... I am still in the darkness. Even if I'm not moving all that much right now, other pieces are moving... and someday, they could find me.


"...the darkness around us is deep." But it is darkness, blackness, the absence of color (the absence of the absolute?). Perhaps to fill that void is a saturation of possibility.