I remember my dreams better when someone is sleeping next to me. And they are always seem to be more harsh, more painful, more drastic, more violent.

My dream last night... more than scaring me, it just made me angry and I couldnt tell you why. It was a zombie dream. The thing I can remember now is that I was in the middle of nowhere when I found out about the zombie invasion...I think somewhere near F Lot, so it wasnt in the middle of nowhere, but it certainly wasnt some place safe. Someone ran up to me and told me what was going on. The person, I think it was a guy, advised that I run away from him. I looked at him and started backing away. I turned and walked fast, but not too fast. I didn't run. I didn't look back. I just walked, and imagined that I was about to die... or, not even die, just be changed into that horrible thing that I fear. I walked straight through housing. I think I remember seeing people walking around casually, so I tried to do the same. I tried not to panic. I got to my building and bolted up the steps, ripping my keys out of my bag, trying to have them ready by the time I got to my apartment door. I unlocked the door and stepping but suddenly heard someone below me coming up the steps. I peaked out, and the person called my name frantically. It was Trevor. I don't remember exactly where he was, but it was probably on the landing below because I remember feeling greatful that there was some distance between us as he begged for refuge. There was sadness in his expression, but he had a certain look in his eye that I didn't trust. I asked if he had been bitten. He didn't answer right away. He looked at his feet and said he didn't think so. He looked up at me pleedingly, and all I said was "Sorry Trev." I held eye contact as I let the heavy door fall shut between us.

In my apartment, no one else was around. I don't remember this part too well. I remember panicking; thinking I was going to starve and knowing that regardless of food supplies, I was fairly doomed. I don't remember who joined me in the apartment or how, but there came a point where I wasn't alone a few hours later. I imagine it was either Em or Ariel or Sarah. I'm pretty sure it was Ariel. Somehow she had been infected, but through other means than being bitten, so we had some time before she would change. She was noble about it, knowing she'd have to leave. We tried to keep it normal and calm when the time came. She walked out the door and said "see you later." I don't know where she went, or what she had planned, if anything... I didn't even know how much time she had. She had only made the decision to leave when she did because I had instinctively jumped back at one of her movements. It was her eyes... just a look. I knew the virus was supposed to make you more aggressive the longer it had

Somehow I was with my sister. She had made it to the apartment to tell me that the rest of the family was safe. We knew we had to leave, find some place safer to go. Somehow one of the windows in the living room had been broken. We were cold, and we werent safe. We had hid out in my room with the door locked for a while but shortly realized we had to move on.

Throughout the dream, I kept waking up. My arms hurt from climbing and sleeping on my side. Ben took up lots of space on the bed, but he kept me warm, and at least I didn't keep waking up to find myself alone.

I don't remember all the details of the rest of the dream. They always get fuzzy when I return to them after waking. I do remember I was in a group of people, and it could have been my family, but it could have been some random people my sister and I had picked up along the way, wherever we were, and wherever we were going. We always seemed to have a place of refuge though. And it always had the same door (my apartment door). Every once in a while, someone got infected and had to leave. They would always leave the group by walking out that door.

Finally, it was my turn. I don't know how I got infected. I didn't get bitten. In fact, I don't remember anyone being bitten. There was something about fluids being transmittive. A change in attitude, the slightest aggression, and the person was likely infected. My outlash was because someone had accused Becca of being infected. I refused to believe that and yelled at everyone, telling them that she wasnt infected and there was no way she was going to leave. Everyone stared. Everyone knew. It was me, not her.

I was a coward. A complete coward and I wouldnt leave. The rule was that it was the choice of the person infected when they would leave, and I kept putting it off. I remember scenarios playing in my mind of walking out that door and just being attacked. I remember having images flash in my brain of what it would be like to be the one attacking. I was in complete denial that it was actually happening to me. Everyone else had taken it in stride. I planned to leave eventually, but the only reason was for the hope that it would possibly extend Becca's life.

The time was approaching but I never ended up having to make the choice. Something happened, and the virus was weakening and wearing off. Hopefully, if I was infected recently enough, I would have caught the weakened strain. I remember my mom reassuring me, but that is the only time I remember her being in the dream. I remember feeling like a coward, because everyone else had left at their time, and I refused to, yet I was the one who was lucky enough to be saved.

I don't even want to talk about it anymore. It makes me so fucking angry to think about. I can't explain it.

The most fucked up part of the whole dream was that I never once remember seeing a zombie, or anyone get bitten, or anything more than the slightest hint that someone was changing to something dangerous. But anything we had pinpointed as an effect of the virus was likely just paranoia. Maybe there was no virus. But then, what happened to all the people who walked out that door?

I don't fucking get what that dream was about, but it really bothered me. And its bothering me a lot to think about it now and not have it mean anything outside of the context. So I'm gonna go write my paper and try to forget anything that has to do with dreams, or reality.