I like my journals better than my blog. Not really, but right now I like the pure honesty within them. Its different writing. I also like seeing how my hand-writing changes depending on mood, time, ect. And the doodles and patterns around my words.
Today I am reading about my transition between 2nd and 3rd quarter last year... New Year's through Spring. It feels like such a long time ago that I wrote those things.
I finally found what I was looking for. A poem. I thought about transcribing it here, but I won't.

Anyway, there are people waiting for me in the living room. I should have spent more time alone before tonight. I don't know if I can handle this.
On the other hand, I kinda need to be with people. And I want to laugh. I want to laugh so hard that afterward, it hurts to breathe.

But I also just want to sleep. I'm tired, and there is so much work to be done. And am I going to my mom's Christmas show? Because I want to, but I have my two final papers to write in the next two days...


we have a sort-of "girls night" going tonight. so I'm gonna go pig out on pizza and chips and other shit. hopefully we can watch a movie or something and cry. hah