i am probably being overly defensive
but i don't know how to fully trust right now

I'm afraid
everyone is going to change their minds after a night.
or lie about who they are.
or manipulate.

this fear has re-emerged in me in the past two days...
it was the wedding, i think.

i am bad at keeping people at arms length. my arms are too short and people can still reach my heart. and i am fucking terrified of what they might do with it.