Hello. My name is Alex Eisenberg and I am a 22 year old female. My preferred pronouns are “she” and “her.” I am excited to meet you all, and am so looking forward to reading your stories and intentions.  Here’s a bit of mine.

As a recent graduate from the Evergreen State College, I am entering a new stage of my life. With me I carry much grief for the state of the world, anger at humanity and self, fear for the future, etc. I hope to channel these responses into positive work and effective change though do not yet know how.

During my years at Evergreen I did not declare a major, nor did I get trained for a career. My experience was far more expansive than focusing, which means I am eagerly seeking direction at this time. In college I was continuously exposed to the reality of environmental and human injustice that is allowed and enacted daily across the globe. I learned to approach these problems by observing connections and looking for hidden variables. This systems-thinking has recently helped me realize that my consciousness and mental and emotional health are all linked to that of the earth. I now see that I have previously neglected those pieces on a personal level, and that I must nurture and cultivate them in myself in order to be most effective in my efforts for a better world. The quest will be a container for me to begin mending and growing those aspects of myself.

This past year has been one of the most difficult and transformative of my life. It has called me to delve deeper into personal soul work and the healing of wounds inflicted by living in a damaged society that lacks the focus of spirituality or community. I feel as though I am in a perpetually liminal state, between who I was raised to be (by my parents and dominant culture), and who I want and need to become (for the world and for myself). I believe this is in part because I have never had a true rite of passage—this quest will be my first—and have been inexplicably thrust in a new direction this year (toward spirit and community), but with no instructions for how to fully access it. I seek the intention that comes with community and spirituality, and this quest is a perfect opportunity to begin shaping it.  

While I would already claim to have spiritual beliefs, they are private and abstract. From my Christian upbringing and various experiences in the church, I have become deeply resistant to organized religion and group spiritual practice of any form, as they are very easy to manipulate. I do not have dedicated spiritual practices or a spiritual community, and I have not experienced any that I am truly comfortable with.  Until recently, this did not bother me. However, new realizations about the world (particularly as I begin to comprehend the long-term consequences of nuclear power in the aftermath of Fukashima) have forced me to reconcile my despair with something more sustaining and connective, and less rooted in the scientific or logic-based responses I have tried to depend on. This quest will be in part, a way to delve into a focused exploration of my spiritual beliefs, perhaps to find clarity and comfort within my own spirituality, while exploring ways to engage spiritually with others, with you. Though I still feel resistance to it, I am compelled toward it by the needs of this time and myself.

Here are some other thoughts about my intention for the quest: I seek to face the guilt I feel as a privileged middle-class, white, straight, cis-person in a vastly unequal world that is being ravaged by my species. I seek to cultivate personal strength and be self-supporting, while simultaneously remembering that I am part of a whole and cannot survive alone. I seek to learn to embrace and create community on all scales, and find ways to be an effective member within them. I seek time alone to grieve fully and openly, without other obligations, without anything but my sorrow, my heart, and the earth. I seek to explore whatever emerges when I open myself up to the world in this way.

Fellow Questers, thank you for taking all of this into your hearts, and for stepping into this journey along side me.