I guess to follow up with the last post, in many aspects I do feel very weak right now. But some of what I am feeling is not necessarily weakness on my part, but a complete lack of empowerment in anything. I feel discouraged by the world. And maybe... maybe the world is letting me down because I let it down with of my weaknesses. Maybe. But I feel like I do every thing I can to help... to not let anyone down. Maybe... maybe I am not trying hard enough, to appreciate how things are. But I still can't help but think that after my efforts to motivate myself into this lifestyle of health and love and joy and balance, that I shouldn't feel better.

Right now all I can think is it must be the chemical imbalance everyone talks about. Maybe I really am just prone to depression, because nothing in my life is near bad enough to justify the way I feel right now. And I know I am receiving some of this negative energy from things that are bigger than me and my personal, individual life... but I shouldn't feel this bad about it. Right?


I think a lot of what I am feeling right now is how other people are affecting me. I'm not trying to blame anyone. Not at all. But the way that I compare myself to other people; the way I see people act; what I hear people say; all of this just breaks me down. Yea, some people are idiots. Yea, someone's always going to be better than me (or just different in a way that I admire more than I admire myself). That's reality. Why can't I deal with it? I have no fucking clue.
This is why I feel so broken. I feel like normal people don't even think about these things.

Fuck it. I'm talking and thinking in circles, and not saying what I actually mean. Like I said... I just can't get anything to translate from me to other people, or on here, or even to myself.




But on a last note; a side note.
Who the fuck are you? I don't think you remember.


"We All Have A Weakness
But Some Of Ours Are Easier To Identify. Look Me In The Eye
And Ask For Forgiveness;
We'll Make A Pact To Never Speak That Word Again
Yes You Are My Friend.
We All Have Something That Digs At Us,
At Least We Dig Each Other
So When Weakness Turns My Ego Up
I Know You'll Count On The Me From Yesterday
If I Turn Into Another
Dig Me Up From Under What Is Covering
The Better Part Of Me
Sing This Song
Remind Me That We'll Always Have Each Other
When Everything Else Is Gone.
We All Have A Sickness
That Cleverly Attaches And Multiplies
No Matter How Hard We Try.
We All Have Something That Digs At Us,
At Least We Dig Each Other
So When Sickness Turns My Ego Up
I Know You'll Act As A Clever Medicine.
If I Turn Into Another
Dig Me Up From Under What Is Covering
The Better Part Of Me.
Sing This Song!
Remind Me That We'll Always Have Each Other
When Everything Else Is Gone.
Oh Each Other....
When Everything
Else Is Gone."