Sometimes what you are looking for is right in front of you, and you just don't even fucking notice.


I don't even know what situation I am talking about right now. I just know I don't feel very good tonight. Probably cause I didn't run today. That was really fucking stupid.
I didn't do my work either.

Alicia tells me I need to give myself a break. But doing that isn't going to get me to Peru.
I'm really fucking glad I don't go to the UW or anything like that. I just literally wouldn't be able to handle myself in those academic circumstances, or social come to think of it.


I bought Eclipse.
I don't think I'm gonna start it just yet. I can only imagine how bad it is going to affect me.


I wanted to avoid saying this, cause I hate sounding needy and pathetic, but hey, that's how I feel right now, so whatthefuckever... I really feel like being held right now. A back massage. A hand on my shoulder. Some kind of sincere human contact. Ever notice how much people avoid touching eachother?


Oh yea, Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today. I think that creates an interesting situation all things considered. But I'm not sure its as big of a deal as people are making it out to be.
We all talk talk talk, never listen, never learn, and never act.

I guess this reminds me of something Sandy said in class today. Since we all (well, almost all --Sorry Trev) had our first tutoring sessions before class this week, we shared our stories --triumphs, struggles, ect. A lot of us felt like we didn't really contribute much to the session and that it was mostly they tutees that did all the work. Of course there is a complex dynamic between the two parts of that relationship, but it was still unnerving for some of us to watch a session unfold and not really know how we are affecting it.

Anyway, Sandy addressed all our worries at the end of class, and she said something along the lines of:
"Listening IS doing something. So many people nowadays are so used to not being listened to. By listening, and by witnessing the processes of these writers, you are doing something very profound."
We are there at the center because we are genuinely interested in having these conversations with people, and by being there as that kind of support, we are giving people something they might never have otherwise.

Point is... we all need to listen more. Care more. And stop being so quick to judge wrong from right.

Instead of saying "we" have much to learn, I am going to say that I do. There is so much I don't know, and I'm thinking I should be aware, and somewhat accountable for that.