I enjoyed my birthday. Spent time with some good people.

There might be a lot to say, but I don't think I will take the time, just a few minutes of reflection.
I wrote some things in my head throughout the day, mainly tonight hanging out with the guys at K. Those things will not be written here.

I found myself to be fairly content with things that occurred all day. I found myself slowing down a bit in my mind.

I talked to people I haven't talked to in months, and enjoyed the change of conversation.

All I want right now is to lay down with some books and just read for a few hours. But I can feel my brain melting in my head; I need to sleep soon.

I made a wish on the candles. It came true, for the day. I had another wish, which I didn't perceive as a wish until this point when I came to putting it into organized thought. What I desired though, now that I think on it, maybe manifested itself in a different way than I would have thought it could. But all the same...
The connection was extended through a book, and not a conversation. And I think I am looking for a way to respond by looking at other books. And maybe that isn't really a response so much as it is a way to extend the ability to relate (to enhance the relationship).

See, even now I am having conversations with myself. That is what writing often is for me though... a conversation with myself such that I can understand something or someone else better. And maybe someone will read what I have to say and have that "conversation" and then find something within it to relate. That extends the relationship between writer and reader, and likely the reader and something or someone else.
This is why I should read more.
Extend the spiral.

I am leaving tomorrow for home in North Bend. I specify because home is so many things, and now, as I am thinking about it, it is rarely a "place" (or rather, a "space," as I will put it for my own understanding).

As for the age: I have grown. I have done much growing especially in this past month. It might sound strange, but I can feel myself grow. No... that's not strange. Its, in fact, a bit cliche.

Anyway, this date passes as a marker. Its a standard of time, and its passage gives context to the patterns of change. That can be measured however you want. I don't want to; not at this moment, and maybe not ever.

Ah, I got on this tangent because of the same fact that I have just arrived at. And that fact makes leaving this words and this conversation much more difficult. I desire a connection. Undefined at this moment, but with preferences in place.

Possibility is infinite (I think). But we (physically-- or metaphorically) build walls and shut doors and close our eyes. When I close my eyes to sleep at night, it does seem to halt the possibility of many things occurring. This may sound stupid, but I think that is why I like sleeping next to someone. When I am woken in the middle of the night, that is a change in what is essentially the "plan" and new possibilities open up (or it could be that they were always going to be opened because they are predetermined... but all the same, from my perspective it is something beyond what I expected). Like just now: I am resigning myself to the fact that there will be no more communication with another person tonight, and then my mom texts me. Physically I was startled because the possibility wasn't considered in my mind.

I clearly don't have a point... or, at least, the mind capacity to make it there tonight. Hah, I am ready to catch up on some much needed rest. I don't think I will read too long tonight (but I didn't think I would write this long either).

I have been alive, in this form, for 20 years. 20. 20. 20. That number seems so big in many contexts, and so small in others.
Ahh, it doesn't matter.
I could write in circles all night, forever.

I remember the day I turned 10. I don't remember what I did, I just remember the day. From my perspective, that is a very distant memory...
And in that regard, it is time to sleep. I've had a loooong decade.
:P