Last night Carolyn, Emily and I watched Benjamin Button. that one kills me. Tonight Carolyn and I watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I cried more tonight. I might just be a bit more emotionally susceptible than I was last night.

Carolyn's company is lovely. We miss Ariel though too.

Tomorrow I find out about Peru. Hopefully, unless they tell me its contingent on something I do next quarter. Haha, I can totally picture this: "well, you have proved yourself on all fronts except presenting in front of people. That is what your trip is contingent on, your presentation next quarter." In which case I would be screwed. I just thoroughly suck at presenting in front of people, or performing anything in front of people. I need to work things through in my head, and on paper. I can't just know what to say and be out with it... not even if I study the subject intently for 10+ weeks.

Not that its a legitimate scenario... I'm not worried about being accepted to go on the trip. ...Maybe I should be. Probably not.
I am maybe a bit worried that I won't wake up for my eval conference though. It is 2am, and I should be asleep. I just have a lot on my mind, and those movies didn't really help.

At the least I am going to lay in bed.

A lot recently I have been wondering why I still write here... Is it because people read it? Or is it because I don't feel justified or sure about anything until I work it out in writing? Is it because I enjoy it?
All of the above to a certain extent. But... I kind of want to re-evaluate that.

Reminder to self: Get a new journal. Yea, my journal is full. That's number 6, I believe.

I'm excited to climb tomorrow... hopefully it won't be crowded. I got really overwhelmed the other day at the top of the wall when I looked and saw how many people were in there. I felt claustrophobic, not to mention I was like +/-20 feet above ground (horrible judge of distance). I totally panicked and just let go, and then curled up on the mat at the bottom.

ok. sleep is good.