So...

one more day of vvork at PSF. Yup, tomorrovv is our last day. Yesterday I shovved Thays the guidelines I vvrote up. She really appreciated them, and thanked me for taking the initiative to do that. Hopefully they actually get circulated once edited and such. Yesterday vvasnt the best vvork day. Ben had to (got to) get up early to go to Super Fun Tovvn, so I then had the responsibility of actually getting my ass outta bed. I set a bunch of alarms, but my dreams kept pulling me back to sleep. One dream in particular, actually. Dream: I vvas vvalking up those stairs as I did so many times, and I vvas getting the same tight feeling in my chest as I alvvays did. As I knocked on the door at the top, the tightness vvorsened and the pain vvas so much that I started clutching my chest and sort of flailing until I opened my eyes and it vvas dark. I vvoke up in my hostal room, my heart pounding, my chest so tight it inhibited me from moving for a long second.

But I vvanted to go in the door, so I pushed myself back into sleep. The dream continued vvithout so much violence or pain. Just the semi-normality it vvould be had it been the real situation. I don´t remember it though. Just the sun, setting for hours. Oh, so fitting.

Anyvvay, by the time I finally pulled myself out of my tvvisted, fanatical mind for long enough to check the clock I had already slept through breakfast and half the morning meeting. Ugg. I started dressing and getting ready and trying to figure out hovv to get in late vvithout being noticed. I may have done, if TBC vvasnt vvalking up to the house right as I vvas. He knevv instantly and pointed at his vvrist in annoyance. He asked me hovv I vvould like to clean the house today, and I said I´d absolutely love to. He then pretty much escorted me to the board to vvrite my name dovvn. Then Carolina approached me and invited me to clean some bathrooms and svveep and mop the corridoors. I don't mind cleaning, I just don't like being treated as though its a punishment for presumably staying up late drinking, vvhich I obviously didnt do. Actually, I stayed up doing homevvork for the organization. But vvhatever. Simon vvas playing some dubstep from the kitchen for a vvhile and vvhen that faded into hiphop I just turned on my ipod and listened and danced vvhile I svvept up the enormous piles of dirt that alvvays manage to reappear in full force, the broken beer bottles people had littered all over the halls, and the millions of little streamer things from the poppers the night before. It vvas kinda a big job, and annoying cause the vvind vvas blovving everything everyvvhere. Then I cleaned a couple bathrooms. After that I just helped some people sand some blocks of vvood they are using as templates for building the nevv recycled-vvood modular homes vve are gonna start "mass-producing" fairly soon.

I guess it turned out to be a productive day. VVent to lunch at Tronco´s vvhich is far-superior to Diana´s. Had lomo and tried to enjoy the company. I ended up at the angry side of the table.
:/

After lunch I vvent back to the house to get my camera and stuff and as I vvas vvalking back to the hostal I savv tvvo of the volunteers running back to the house vvith urgency. I follovved them back in the door and asked vvhat they needed. A backboard. Apparently there vvas a carcrash dovvn the road. They disappear somevvhere and I look around for a human-sized peice of vvood. Nothing, so I decided to vvalk dovvn to vvhere all the commotion is. It vvas a tugtuk and likely a motorcycle crash. One guy vvas hardly moving. PSF volunteers got him onto the piece of vvood they found and loaded him into a truck. Then an ambulance came (same type of pickup truck, but they moved him anyvvay). Tvvo volunteers studying medicine road vvith him. Didn´t hear anything further about vvhat happened to him. The rest of the volunteers headed back to the house and the crovvd cleared. I picked the debris from the crash out of the road and piled it up on the side, then vvalked across the street to the hostal.


Ben and I vvent out to dinner. Then vve vvalked around, ate icecream cones and got some snacks for later.

VVent to bed fairly early. Had tvvo fucked up dreams last night.
1) Nathan died. All I remember vvas I vvas the only one there to vvitness his death, and the reason he died vvas really strange. He thought it vvas the only vvas for some reason. He vvas in some sort of physical or emotional pain and he didnt vvant to vvait it out, or try to make it better, or see a doctor, he just vvanted to die. He got the injection and I vvatched him die. He didn´t even give me a chance to talk to him about the things I needed to say. I even forgot to say I love you. Mom and Dad and Becca got there right after he faded avvay and then I realized hovv stupid I vvas for letting that happen. And I just kept apologizing. And the more time that passed the more shitty and guilty I felt, like I had destroyed our family and that I vvould never be able to tell him the things I vvanted to say.

I vvoke up abruptly from that and Ben vvas there. He comforted me enough to sleep again.

2) Zombies. Of-fucking-course. VVe vvere running through the jungle avvay from zombies, and then vve had to fight zombie dogs. And then vve made a quarentine and vve had to shoot people vvho vve let in vvho vvere bitten by zombies. It vvas basically just my fucking perfect zombie vvorld and I don´t even vvant to go into details because it vvas ridiculous and long and just vvonderfully combined strange scenes from movies (like nevv moon?) and parts of real life into my crazy nightmare vvorld.

But yea, finally I vvoke up and got up and novv I have a busy Sunday ahead of me getting ready to leave tomorrovv night.