finding it really hard to write here anymore.

bursting to express something but it all feels wrong. here's too public. journal's too private.


one thing I can think to share is this: a couple weeks ago while lying on my bed i looked up to see my peace flags in the corner of my room, and i misread one:

"we can be
the wish
we change to see."

after rolling my eyes at my brain for being such a spazz, i decided i actually like the flip. it doesn't really alter the sentiment of the actual quote... perhaps refreshes it.

be the wish
be the wish

(what's the wish?)

"a blizzard of cherry blossoms" he said.
she and i sat on the floor pulling the yellow
from the green
and outside grey cloud trees rained
white pink spring
and
it smelled like a memory.


------------------------------------------------------
new train of thought
------------------------------------------------------


so, don't take this the wrong way, but i've been thinking a lot about marriage.
look,
i'm in love
with Wendell Berry
and the man has a lot to say about marriage (and everything). so i've been thinking about it (everything, that is). and anyway, there are about 500 quotes/poems/essays of his that i want to post/write about.
some other time, i suppose.
in the meantime, here's a poem of his i found just tonight that feels really present:


“Geese appear high over us,
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here."